Epiphany

Today while driving home from Norman, I found myself driving the speed limit. This is really extraordinary considering that my usual turnpike rate is about 90+ mph. Why, may you ask, did a change occur? Suddenly I felt compelled to be as safe as possible: Paying more attention to the road, and even paranoid about the other drivers. I used to be quite daring with my life, even getting a rush from the danger. But now, driving like a granny seems to be more fitting. I questioned the reason for my newly cautious actions, because it seemed to happen overnight. And, in effect, it did happen overnight.

This weekend it was my turn to visit joe. So, expecting it to be the perfect weekend, I was in for a disappointment when I ended up bed-ridden with the stomach flu. Completely unwilling to ruin his weekend, nor inconvenience him, i was prepared to head home as soon as the sickness let up a bit. Used to the type of men that would be fine with this, and even request it, I was shocked when Joe refused to let me go. He didn't bail on me. On top of taking care of me, he went above and beyond normal hospitality when he went out to buy me chicken noodle soup, 7-up, crackers, a pair of sweat pants to lounge in, and a little stuffed soccer ball. It was adorable. He stayed by my side like only a completely dedicated boyfriend would, and I am eternally grateful.

Now, you are confused as to how this ties in with my cautious driving. I will explain. I used to feel as though I were invincible, that in essence, I wasn't tied to anything. Sure my family loves me, and I have a few friends that love and would miss me, but no one counting on me. But, I feel that now. Never have I felt more beautiful at my worst, never have I appreciated/respected someone as much, never have I felt so valuable and strong as a person as I did this weekend. Even when I was fragile and weak with the flu.

I feel this overwhelming emotion that keeps me running. One that helps me get out of the bed in the morning, do the right things, be a better person, and ahem....obey the traffic laws.... haha...