Sinking

So, after the long debate as to whether I will live or die....I fought my way to health again. I wont give in that easy! Its amazing how for granted we take the tiniest things everyday...like...the ability to WALK and EAT comfortably. I'm much more appreciative now, thats for sure! However, I now understand the meaning of the phrase 'sink or swim', cause I am really sinking. A major change needs to be made now. After the strain of my friends' struggles, my financial problems, and health slowly deteriorating, I have decided to take a semester off. It was a big thing for me because I wanted to prove to the world I could take care of myself...and well, everything. I didn't want to have to throw in the towel, and say "enough". But, that time has come. I'm moving back home after my lease is up. I plan to take a few classes while living at home, but mainly work to save money and get well. Emotionally and physically I'm way past my breaking point.

This was the hardest decision ever. Cause, I feel like I failed.
But I will be back. With more strength of mind and determination than ever. Pray for me. I need all the help I can get.

Have you ever been just exhausted. Not the 'I need a nap type', but the 'i quit' type? Thats it, thats what I'm feeling. Not that I need to justify my decision to anyone, but I want the few people that read this and care to know why I am doing this, to understand. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes and not spread yourselves too thin.

I heard and related to this Coldplay song:
-In My Place-
In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn’t change
I was lost, oh yeah
I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn’t have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah
And yeah
How long must you wait for it?
Yeah
How long must you pay for it?
Yeah
How long must you wait for it?
For it

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for it
And if you go, if you go
And leave me down here on my own
Then I’ll wait for you
Yeah

And yeah
How long must you wait for it?
Yeah
How long must you pay for it?
Yeah
How long must you wait for it?

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn’t change
And I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah