Weekends

Stole these pics from Lindsay:


me and the infamous lindsay


me after circle of death, at one point in the game we had to say 'in my pants' after every phrase we uttered. made for an interesting night. which translated into me deciding to actually put things in my pants....this time skittles. ;)


me and the girly again.


more playing with skittles?? dont really know at this point....

Move Along...

Well, my stuff is packed...



it looks so dreary here now with nothing on the walls...



Sarah is in Dallas for the weekend, and Laura is in Owasso. Its creepy alone here. Especially since everything is almost all packed up, its depressing. I drove around Norman the other night for a couple of hours taking it all in: The crazy turn of events that have occurred over this past summer to make me a completely different person, and turn my world upside down.

This weekend I have to live it up. My last weekend in Norman... And then I will MOVE ALONG...
Like this new rejects song that I have played almost completely on loop since I got the new album:


"Move Along"

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

Camping Recap

Since I've been up all night studying for my Zoo test, I feel I need a break. So I will give you a recap of the camping weekend.

We were running a little late, and didn't leave Norman till about 4. We stopped off at a gas station, and then the time slipped away till 5. We made it to Owasso, and Laura wanted us to stop by Chilis to see her before heading to the campsite. Which made it 7:30ish before we headed to my house to pick up the boat (which turned out to have locked steering, and we couldn't use). So then we took off to skiatook, and purchased gasoline for the boat and bought groceries. Then got to the campsite around 9:30. Gerard, Kelly, Tim, Greg and I set up the campsite, in the dark, and then sat around for a bit talking and then slept.



Haha, me being the morning person I am, I wake up at 7:00 and can't go back to sleep, so finally I wake up the boys at 8:30. A group of boys are very grumpy at 8:30 in the morning.... so we take the jetski out for a bit before Laura, Thomas, and Althea all meet us and we spend the day conversing, swimming, and getting sun.


That night we all play cards and sit around the campfire eating and drinking.
We eventually fall asleep and the next day just involves taking everything down. It was very relaxing and fun.

Highlights: 1.)Laura talking me into popping a squat in the grass at 2 in the morning, instead of walking half a mile to the restrooms 2.) getting to use a hatchet
3.)hearing about Greg and Tim's encounter with the ranger and the 90 dollar stump they chopped down:

4.)And probably Gerard and Laura pulling me on the intertube behind the jetski. Wow, I am sore....

....and tired....

Bothered

I'm frustrated with the fact that girls and boys have these stupid gender roles we feel we must abide to. That boys must be the macho alpha male type, and girl the submissive, truly girly female. Whats up with that crap?

And relationships have similar stereotypical places:
The male must be the laid back initiator of romance and eventual heartbreaker/cheater. The girl has to be the overbearing nurturer and eventual jealous/paranoid ruiner.

If the relationship seems to be perfect, we being human naturally figure that something is wrong and create a drama. What is with people and DRAMA?

I think the only reason all of my relationships have failed is cause the other party didn't experience enough drama with me for it to be fullfilling. i.e. I get the reputation of being an ice queen/ frigid bitch cause they dont feel I care enough to be jealous or clingy or WHATEVER!

If you haven't seen the movie CLOSER you need to check that out. Its very depressing but so dang true, you might end up reevalutating your relationships and changing them for the better.

All in all, I am tired of boys. Hell, I'm tired of girls too. Can't we all just get along and have fun?

I have no clue who all exactly is coming on the trip, cause PEOPLE KEEP CHANGING THEIR MINDS DAILY!!!
But,
I'm going on this $&#*Q^&*@ camping trip, and im going to have a great time, even if i have to do it alone.

There is nothing like the warm sun on your back, while you sit on a boat with the slow rocking, and the pleasant sound of the waves splashing the sides, as you sip your favorite beverage, smell the sweet sunscreen mixed in with the aroma of barbeque, with a couple of your closests friends, with all the worries of the world miles away.....

(*does whole above speech, Braveheart style while riding around on horse/motorboat with face painted/colored sunscreen, wearing kilt/new white bikini*)

NOW, WHOS WITH ME!?!?!

Calling ALL SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE MEN!

Next Friday some of the Normanites are making their way to the Owasso area for a little weekend getaway. We plan on going to Skiatook lake to campout in tents and enjoy the lake. So, if anyone is interested in joining the excitement, contact me. The more the better. We plan on leaving Fri. camping out that night, and spending the next day skiing, tubing, and relaxing. You know you want to come.....

I'm extremely excited!

And if you happen to be a single, smart, tall, attractive man.....then you are required by law to attend.

And if you are male, then how can you resist these faces (much less these bodies in bathing suits)?

Sinking

So, after the long debate as to whether I will live or die....I fought my way to health again. I wont give in that easy! Its amazing how for granted we take the tiniest things everyday...like...the ability to WALK and EAT comfortably. I'm much more appreciative now, thats for sure! However, I now understand the meaning of the phrase 'sink or swim', cause I am really sinking. A major change needs to be made now. After the strain of my friends' struggles, my financial problems, and health slowly deteriorating, I have decided to take a semester off. It was a big thing for me because I wanted to prove to the world I could take care of myself...and well, everything. I didn't want to have to throw in the towel, and say "enough". But, that time has come. I'm moving back home after my lease is up. I plan to take a few classes while living at home, but mainly work to save money and get well. Emotionally and physically I'm way past my breaking point.

This was the hardest decision ever. Cause, I feel like I failed.
But I will be back. With more strength of mind and determination than ever. Pray for me. I need all the help I can get.

Have you ever been just exhausted. Not the 'I need a nap type', but the 'i quit' type? Thats it, thats what I'm feeling. Not that I need to justify my decision to anyone, but I want the few people that read this and care to know why I am doing this, to understand. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes and not spread yourselves too thin.

I heard and related to this Coldplay song:
-In My Place-
In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn’t change
I was lost, oh yeah
I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn’t have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah
And yeah
How long must you wait for it?
Yeah
How long must you pay for it?
Yeah
How long must you wait for it?
For it

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for it
And if you go, if you go
And leave me down here on my own
Then I’ll wait for you
Yeah

And yeah
How long must you wait for it?
Yeah
How long must you pay for it?
Yeah
How long must you wait for it?

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn’t change
And I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah